![]() ![]() Speaking of egregious mistakes, surely I’ve missed some really great and some really horrible things about writing a novel. There’s nothing as debilitating or as humiliating as knowing the two major plot holes and five flagrant typos inside this thing you’ve created are going to be around and tied directly to you forever -even after Amazon crashes, as people LOVE to talk about the egregious mistakes of others for all eternity. There’s nothing as fulfilling or as empowering as knowing this thing you’ve created using nothing but your drunken mind and fingertips is going to be around and tied directly to you forever, or at least until Amazon crashes beneath its own weight. ![]() Thus, if you’re a writer getting pummeled with rejection notifications or putting up dismal numbers in the sales column, well … nobody cares -such failure is the norm! The natural thing is to quit … but writers don’t know how. And if you go the indie-route, keep in mind the average self-published book sells only 250-300 copies over the course of its entire lifetime. Fact: Even if you land an agent and the agent lands you a book deal, the average traditionally published book sells only 250-300 copies in its first year. Fact: The odds of landing a literary agent after finishing your novel are 1 in 1000. ![]() And if you’ve actually SOLD a few copies, well, now you’re just showing off.Ģ nd worst: The soul-crushing sense of failure. Thus, if you’ve written a book, it’s a freaking MIRACLE. Fact: Only 0.3% of people born go on to write a book. Fact: The odds of being born are 400 trillion to 1. And at least extended heroin withdrawal usually causes death and thus an end to the suffering.Ģ nd best: The incredible sense of accomplishment. They say the only thing that compares to the overwhelming sense of anxiety and dread one experiences upon losing their writer’s high is the overflowing sense of anxiety and dread one experiences during heroin withdrawal. Unless you’re doing it correctly.ģ rd worst: The lows. And writing is less damaging to the liver, heart and brain. Or worse, they won’t even show up, leaving you sitting there staring at a blank page or an unfinished scene like some idiot who should have listened to their mother when she advised they go to medical or law school instead of becoming a novelist.ģ rd best: The “high.” They say the only thing that compares to a “writer’s high” is a heroin high. Some days, a character-usually an important one, like the protagonist-won’t listen to a single word you say. Fictional characters-not unlike real people-often develop a mind of their own and start taking you and your novel in directions you never imagined heading in and would be wise to avoid. Regardless, it’s hard not to wish you had the same power and control in the real world-especially with relatives during Thanksgiving.Ĥ th worst: The lack of power and control. You needn’t be a megalomaniac to enjoy having the power to control every action your characters does, every word they say, every thought and emotion they think and feel. Or your spouse in the other room doesn’t realize how much her breathing is keeping you from pulling off a shocking twist.Ĥ th best: The power and control. Or like the kids outside laughing and playing don’t care that you’re this close to finishing Chapter 8. Sometimes it’s almost as if the neighbor remodeling their house doesn’t understand how much more important the imaginary crime you’re working on is. For me-a crime fiction and thriller writer-it’s like a deep form of meditation … only with a bit more murder.ĥ th worst: The noise. Sitting in complete silence while putting characters through total hell is incredibly peaceful and satisfying. ![]() In keeping with such dichotomy, below are the five best and the five worst things about writing a novel:ĥ th best: The quiet. Point is, aside from my family and my pets and my readers, there’s nothing I love more than writing novels and I hate it. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from writing except when it feels like I’ve been tied to several of them and they’re each galloping off in opposite directions. No other activity fills me with such a strong sense of flow and purpose and pain and hopelessness. Creative writing has given me more joy than I could have ever imagined and it is torture. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |